To Become

4

February 12, 2014 by Angel Pricer

lotusfrightened
immobile
wanting to flee
this vision that swells
inside of me

Tenderly encouraging my stiff hands to write some more, this familiar song dances in my mind, sandwiched between cushiony headphones.  All I hear, it coaxes my heart and I soar; I become.

Divenire (in English, “to become”)

This morning I met with Rhonda, a soul-sister whose intense listening and divergent thinking had me mind-mapping an agreement to truly live the bigness of the Creator’s Academy vision.   With laser focus (a skill my rapid-fire mind is still mastering), we hone in on the population this endeavor serves.  It looks a lot like the few who appeared in this 60-minutes interview and the countless, faceless others who suffer in silence.

The first time I saw this video my flurry of notes that began “there is much to be done WAY before the need for a visit to the emergency room arises”  told me that I would be among those willing to speak about the stigma of raising a child with a mental health diagnosis.

But first, I’ve got to get over this fear of speaking from my heart, and writing first is a darned good start.  Sharing my vision with friends who listen; friends who get it on visceral level; friends who begin to confide family stories of their own, ones that usually remain hidden.  I know I’m onto something big; bigger than me; bigger than our family and our story.  The kind of big that encompasses the whole of humanity.

Typing those words I realize again, as I did over coffee with Rhonda this morning, that my desire to hold the whole world in love is what has so often precluded me from maintaining laser-focus on a single course of action.

My friend believes in my vision and is willing to hold me accountable to the steps we identified.  Writing this blog post wasn’t one of them, but in re-reading the steps I realized how paralyzing the fear around taking them is.  I started to stagnate, then Ludovico Einaudi’s keystrokes inspired me to put those fears out on the table, along with my next steps.

It’s frightening, but here are my SMART goals:

  • Watch the 60 Minutes video again – 2/13/14
  • Record my observations – 2/13/14
  • Draft a letter to 60 Minutes – 2/16/14
  • Send draft to Rhonda for feedback – 2/16/14
  • Revise draft – 2/20/14
  • Send final copy to 60 Minutes – 3/5/14
  • Talk to Scott Pelley of 60 Minutes – 3/31/14

Do you have any idea how hard it was to write that last bullet point?  Like simultaneously reaching for the sun and hiding behind a wide-brimmed hat, concealing shades and a plain brown full-length muumuu.

Hiding isn’t an option anymore.  Hiding hurts, and I’m not the only one who feels that pain.  There are kids and families who need a new kind of support.  The kind that makes it so that emergency room visits are reserved for things like broken bones; not broken people.  The time to hide is over.  Now, it’s time to become.

Image courtesy of foto76 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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4 thoughts on “To Become

  1. Rhonda is my Soul-Sister also!

  2. Harold Green says:

    Hi Angel,

    Thank you for your kind words.

    Also, thank you for discovering my photography blog http://www.throughharoldslens.com.

    You gave me the opportunity to discover, explore and follow your blog. I hope we both enjoy our journeys.

    To help launch you on your journey, I thought you might enjoy a couple of “Quick Links” to a few of my favorites, from over 200 posts, on Through Harold’s Lens:

    “Five Senses”
    http://throughharoldslens.com/2013/06/20/five-senses-european-tour/

    “Maiden Mild”
    http://throughharoldslens.com/2013/06/12/maiden-mild-european-tour/

    “Shaken, Not Stirred”
    http://throughharoldslens.com/2013/09/13/shaken-not-stirred-european-tour/

    On behalf of the Through Harold’s Lens Creative Team, my trusty sidekick Mr. SLR Nikon, his brother Mr. Pen Pal and myself, we wish you the best.

    Regards,
    Harold

    • Angel Pricer says:

      Hello Harold,

      How perfect that you honed in on this particular post of mine, as it’s one that incorporates some of the same elements you and your fabulous team employ to create the feast for the senses that is Through Harold’s Lens.

      Best to you, Mr. SLR Nikon & Mr. Pen Pal,
      Angel

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