November 13, 2013 by Angel Pricer
“I knew you were a gift from God; and that you were going to make a difference in humanity.” Even at a mere 17 years of age, and against the advice of those who counseled her to terminate the pregnancy, my mother had a sense about me. After nine months of seeing me in her dreams, she knew my name. I Am Angel.
While being born with a ready-made mission as a “messenger of God” might sound good in theory, in practice…well…let’s just say I’ve spent more than enough time exploring the devilish side of humanity. Living into my name has been no easy task. I’ve stumbled, fallen, scraped my knees and dragged others down with me in the process. But there’s so much more to it than that.
Whether you believe that we are in the midst of the dawning of a new age or not, one thing is certain; if the human race is going to survive as a species, something has got to change. The question is what. With so many causes to fight for, it’s easy to get distracted from the one thing we can choose that will show us the way; LOVE.
I’ve had 41 years worth of cosmically cool visions and down-to-Earth experiences that illustrate the power this one little word tries, but fails, to convey, though one stands out above the rest.
It had been three days since my aunt’s unexpected but peaceful passing. We were always very close, especially during my child and early adult years. I loved her very much and, seeing the pain she endured in her life, tried to help her see how she was responsible for creating it. She wasn’t really interested in that. Instead, she spent most days embroiled in her problems, feeling every bit the powerless victim of circumstance.
That night I found myself at her side in lucid-dream time, bearing witness at her life review. Awful doesn’t begin to describe it. Together, we felt the gravity of every joy and sorrow she’d ever known. In the next instant she realized that she alone was responsible for the choices she made that brought her much turmoil and an early demise. She looked to me for one horrified moment before she was off to a new body, emotional baggage in tow. I woke trembling, in tears, and certain of one thing; committing to anything less than love would be a waste of my life. I don’t want a do-over.
Such a commitment is not for the faint of heart, though. Take, for example, having to admit to my husband that I felt love for someone other than him…twice. Yes, love can be disruptive, messy, painful, and nothing like you might have been led to believe it to be. But oh…the rewards!
It is love that has my son so far away, and love that challenges what we accept as true about education, mental health and what it means to raise a family. Even as I experience life as an Earthly mother, fraught with all the challenges, obstacles and responsibilities no one can escape, I walk through it knowing in my heart that it’s exactly what I came here to do.
Just as my mother knew I was here to make a difference in humanity, I know the same to be true about each of my children, and of all people. Even the seemingly unlovable among us have something to contribute to the whole and, though different, not a one is more or less important than any other.
We are all love. Some of us are just
crazy enough a little more willing to walk in the shadows of the unknown to prove it. That’s what I was born to do.
Who am I? I am Angel; committed to love and writing about how it takes shape in real life.