On Boundaries


September 7, 2012 by Angel Pricer

A question has been welling up from within for me lately:

“Where do I end and the ‘other’ begin?”

A loaded question, I know – ripe with paradoxical implications.

In taking personal responsibility for what shows up in my life, something I’ve taken to calling “Radical Responsibility,” I am finding myself up against an age old wall of taking TOO MUCH upon myself.

What I find even more interesting is that two of my three children have some significant personal boundary issues. In getting REAL with myself, I see the issues in them are alive in me as well, if not deeply hidden.  This has been a constant process of discovery that always takes me deeper into my being.

What kind of personal boundaries do you grapple with?

How do you strike the balance between taking responsibility for what is yours and allowing the ‘other’ to be as they are?

4 thoughts on “On Boundaries

  1. Because I feel energy- emotions, thoughts, vibrations of any kind- I have and still have issues knowing what is mine and what is not- working with a Shaman in the desert at one point, I walked back to camp with garbage I had picked up and he just looked at me and said -“This is going to be your biggest lesson”. I got it then and those words have stuck with me and grown.
    The only thing I know to do is to constantly stay in self care- quiet time, rest, food that supports me, exercise, fun, surround myself with others who see and support me, only doing what I enjoy- and with that I seem to be able to at least see what is mine and what is another’s- at some point.

    I am really great now at allowing another to fully feel what is up and Be it all- and when I want another to change, I get I am out of alignment- loving the other and knowing how important it is to have the experience- it has been for me!
    Making choices as to what takes care of me and that may mean not being around the person…
    Thank you for the opportunity to be with these questions!

    • Angel Pricer says:

      Self care is a glorious key indeed! As deep feeling beings, we walk a lifetime of sorting ourselves out, excavating the boulders of not love in each experience (or wallowing in not love for a spell, as I’ve been known to do on more than a few occasions!). I had to laugh at the story of you and the Shaman in the desert….over the weekend I found myself picking up a dirty old Dunkin Donuts cup stuck under a rock where we had been walking. Then I saw even more as we continued and thought to myself how distracted from the beauty of ALL of it I could become if my focus was solely on the trash that someone else left behind. I honor your path, your work and your light, sweet sister ❤

  2. Lu Hocker says:

    For too many years I chose work over any kind of personal life as a means of escape, only recently was I able to recognize and acknowledge the sadness, disappointment and hurt that led me down the path of escape. The duration of this escape lasted over 37 years, a period I now describe as emotionally dead and professionaly proficient.

    I lost my sense of self over those years; always in motion, never taking time to be present in the moment. Unfortunately I viewed “being present” as being lazy and lacking. My loved ones tried so hard to help me see and correct this behavior to no avail. Thanks to an extraordinary friend who demonstrated this concept I was finally able to enjoy life…..every moment….in real time. Thank you J!

    J helped me understand that I am not responsible for the well being and/or happiness of others, and that I should not expect another to complete me or make me happy. He taught to embrace life and love without attachment or expectation, as a result I was able to detach from taking on others’ responsibilities.

    • Angel Pricer says:

      It is a wonderful gift J has offered, and your willingness to accept and allow it the space to gestate within your being will make it your own gift that you continue to give to yourself and share, as yourself, with the world. I honor your path, your work and your light, sweet mother ❤

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